Hope

Hope is such a double-edged sword.
I can’t help but love it and hate it.

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Where I’ve Been and Self-Help Tips

Hello! You may remember me as Ramexa or better yet, Ramsha or not. The reason why I’ve been away from the blogosphere for almost a month is ’cause I had my finals. Of the second semester. Of college. And if you’re anything like me, you leave all your studying until, literally the very last moment. Bad move. Really bad move.

Also, I had a huge writer’s block. Not because of exams. But because of my thinking. I was addicted to negative thoughts and feelings all the time. About everything and everyone. But most of all, I thought very bad of myself. What a huge, dumb mistake. Listen to me, don’t go on hating yourself, ’cause you’re gonna be stuck in YOUR body all your life, so you might as well learn to love yourself. And if you’re having some trouble with that, I highly recommend The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and every video by FlightMediocrity.

The Secret discusses mainly The Law Of Attraction. It basically means that each every thought of yours creates your life. So, in a nutshell, if you think you’re stupid, you’re stupid. If you think you’re awesome, you’re awesome.

The FlightMediocrity YouTube channel consists of self-help book reviews with a twist. Each and every video is animated, and through animations, Malkhaz, discusses and teaches the audience about the teachings of a particular book.

This is my favourite video by FlightMediocrity:

Just watch it. You’ll thank me later.

And if all this still doesn’t help you, and music is more your thing, here are some of my favourite happy songs. I hope these help.

1)Pharrell Williams – Happy

 

2)Demi Lovato – Confident

 

3)Queen – We Are The Champions

 

4)Fall Out Boy – I Don’t Care

 

5)Panic! At The Disco – Victorious

 

I’m back everyone! Feels awesome to be back!

If you like this post, do LIKE, COMMENT & FOLLOW!

Also, BIG ANNOUNCEMENT! I’ve started a Blogger blog as well! It’s gonna be all about movies! Do check out my first Blogger post here – http://ramexabella.blogspot.in/

 

Happiness

Lemme tell you a little something,
About this thing called happiness.
It feels unimaginably amazing.

        It makes your heart and soul sing,
        And cleans all your mess.
        It feels infinitely confining.

But if ya base it off the inconsequential,
It’ll leave a deep, sad stain on you,
And lessen your extraordinary potential.

     You gotta figure out what’s essential,
     Make time for the prettiest hues,
     And stop thinking of the existential.

I know it’s not that easy.
They kinda gnaw at you don’t they?
The scars, the constant reminder.

       They’re just so addictively queasy.
       Your poking leaves them on display.
       And your thoughts simply concur.

You just have to stop thinking.
Your thoughts must be prettily dressed.
And so, you’ll finally end your suffering.

       

What is the point?

Warning: An extremely personal and long post ahead. If you take the time to read it, comment. It’s compulsory. 

Oblivion. We all are oblivious of our pasts, well atleast most of us non-historians are.

       Yesterday, I had been feeling very helpless, shattered even. You see, I have a YouTube channel and since I’m not very ‘popular’ no one seems to wanna watch it. “But Ramsha, people don’t have time for someone as inconsequential as you,” is something what you would say to me. I know. “Maybe your videos just plain suck.” Yes, I completely agree. The first one sucked a lot, the second one sucked a little lesser, the third one sucked even lesser and the fourth one sucked the least. I’m working as hard as I can in order for them to not suck. And since, I put in the most effort in filming and editing the fourth video, I’m damn proud of it. I tried my best. And as we all know, the basic aim of anything one has put a lot of hard work in, is to be noticed. So, in order for everyone to know that I did something more worthwhile with my life, I shared the video with all the important and semi-important and not-so-important people in my Whatsapp contacts list. I’m not saying that one has to applaud me by saying,”Damn! That was an amazing video! Great job!” No.

      Even if someone takes the time to tell me,”Your video sucks!” I would be happy. But when people read my texts and don’t reply, my heart breaks a little. I mean how can one judge something when they haven’t even watched it? And it wasn’t just one or two people who didn’t say anything, it was about thirty people. THIRTY PEOPLE.

Not only that, one of my insanely popular classmates at college made a very professional-looking video with others’ help and got over 600 views in a day. At first it bothered me. A lot. A LOT lot. But then I decided to let it pass. I don’t own the right to make videos. I alone don’t own the right to love YouTube. To make videos. Hell, for all I know, his video would’ve got a million views by now. Good for him, and I genuinely mean it.

“But Ramsha, you’re not gonna get a million views in a day. No one will know about you so soon. Why are you even making these videos? What is the point of all this?” Is something else you would say in order to console and question me at the same time.

Well let me tell ya, till now, in these glorious eighteen years of my life, I haven’t found something I excel at, and making videos might serve as the gateway for movie-making. Maybe directing is the right direction for me. I dunno. I’m still living through this thing called life. I’m just making this all up as I go along.

That brings me to why I felt so helpless. I felt that all my day’s-worth of editing was for naught. I felt that I didn’t need to work so hard for something that no one would watch, something that no one would even care about. No one would want to watch an unpopular person. No one. It got so bad that I had a panic attack. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t calm down. I wouldn’t calm down.

I explained all of this to my dad. “Daddy, no one cares. Everyone just asks me that why I am doing all this. No one seems to answer my texts. I mean why can’t they JUST, just look at the goddamn video once?! Do they see through all my insecurities and say ‘Hey! This girl sucks! She literally has an invisible Loser sign on her head which is only seen by us! MUAHAHA! Let’s make her feel even more worthless by not watching her stupid, boring video!’ ”

“Ramsha, just try harder. Become better at this. If making videos is what you wanna do, just give it your all. Just give it your best shot. Eventually, someone important will notice. Just, be patient. Try harder. Just keep on moving forward. These people who haven’t replied do not matter. Don’t just give up. Don’t give up on yourself.” My dad said with a hug.

And I did feel better once my dad said all that. He and my mom are the only two people who will back me up no matter what. They’re the absolute best.

But something else bothered me. Once I realised what it was, the thought grew like a virus. It consumed me. Saddened me. I said to myself,” What is the point of all this? Of life? Am I supposed to rule the world and live an extravagant life, or am I supposed to blend in with the other fellow mundane human beings? All of this, all this effort won’t even matter in a say a hundred years. I’ll be dead. No one will remember me anyway. I’ll live a mundane and die a mundane.” I just felt empty. It felt like all my creativity, all my zest was sucked out by those existential questions. I was anxious. I was deeply unhappy.

But then I realised something, I was not going to give up on MY dreams just because some insignificant people did not validate me by not watching my hard-work. Dammit, I am going to work harder and smarter. And if those blasted existence-questioning questions bother me, I’ll just exercise or better yet, watch some anime. Or eat some chips. And, finally:

‘I WILL WORK HARD.  I’LL MAKE IT COUNT. I HAVE TO. I JUST HAVE TO.’

 

And if any of you guys feel an existential crisis arising due to some unimportant people or events, just remember – ‘ YOU ARE THE POINT.

If anyone else feel this way, please comment. Let’s all face this together. Let’s kick it to the curb. Just comment.  

Whew! I feel much better now.

 

 

 

 

 

Second YouTube video!

My Second video ever is here! Thanks to all the wonderful advice from my fellow bloggers, I’ve:

1)Added a new Intro, which took me just two hours to make on Adobe After Effects from the scratch. No biggie.

2)Made the Intro only 4 seconds long.

3)Practised and improved my editing skills.

4)Added 2 annotations!

5)Worn something non-blingy.

6)And, lastly, I’ve kept on moving forward! This was a hard one, ’cause I usually give up on new tasks very soon, but not this time!

Without further ado, here’s my new video! Please LIKE, COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE and SHARE if you like it! It’s FREE anyway!

And, which monsters have attacked you while shopping? Do let me know in the comments!

 

My YouTube channel!

Hello everyone! I’ve finally made my first ever YouTube channel! I had been wanting to upload videos for a really long time, but due to a lot of self-doubt and procrastination, I didn’t make any, until NOW!

I had thought that making videos was a tedious task, and boy was I proven right. In today’s day and age videos have many elements to them like proper editing, background music, intros and a LOT of advertising. Not only that, one has to make sure to use non-copyrighted music and must look for it. These simple tasks make all the difference. But, holy-moly do they take a lotta time.

As if video making wasn’t enough, the fact that I’m extremely camera-shy was also an added bonus! I don’t even like to take selfies. Not only that, I had to talk to a circular camera lens as if it were my friend for 4 minutes. And after 30 takes, I finally got the perfect video.

But it was worth it. So, SO worth it. Every single day of the video-making process, I would jump out of bed and feel at ease. Video-making is exhilarating, so , SO exhilarating!

Although the video isn’t perfect, I’ve done my best and if there are any ways in which I can improve my videos, please do let me know. Constructive criticism is always more than welcome.

So, without further ado, here’s my first video ever. I hope you all like it. 🙂

And if you all do like it, please LIKE, COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE and SHARE! It would motivate me to improve and make more videos in the future.

Life hacks #3

My last few posts have been extremely short. Well, this post is not. Today, I’m gonna share with you all a new life hack.
      This is a series where I share my noteworthy experiences with you all, my fellow bloggers. And what makes these experiences so noteworthy is that, they teach me the most simple lessons. These lessons are certainly not new, but from time to time, I tend to forget these lessons, and they serve as a much-needed reminder.
       A few days ago, my friend and I decided to meet at a mall which was fairly close to my house. We met for coffee, discussed our love for Twenty One Pilots and rock music in general and then just roamed about the mall. We had a lot of fun, but since she stays far away, she had to catch the local train. And I decided to accompany her to the station. The reason why I decided to do so was because the station was between my house and the mall. So, I dropped her off to the station, and then headed towards my house.
      The road from the station to my house is filled with people, cars, bikes, and crooked tiles. No seriously, the footpath is not a smooth, flat piece of land. The footpath is made up of many crooked tiles pieced up together haphazardly.
     The walk from the mall to my house is about twenty minutes long, but is usually longer because of the pedestrians walking in the opposite direction and making something as simple as walking more time-consuming.
       As I was walking, the throngs of people ignored me and passed by me but a few slammed into me as well. The most notable pedestrian just stood in the middle of the sidewalk, and refused to move. I decided to walk around him and that led me to tripping over a crooked tile and breaking the strap of one of my flip-flops. I was outraged but I kept on walking. And since I was closer to home anyway, I decided to endure the hobbling.
     Have you ever experienced something so simply frustrating? If you have, I’ve got the perfect solution for YOU. This solution or life hack is called ‘Patience.’ Seriously. In this fast-paced life of ours, we tend to be impatient all the time. Fast food, fast rides, fast everything. And I was forced to take things slow because of my destroyed flip-flop. I decided to use that time imagining me wearing an other pair of my open-toed wedges with the straps over the toes. I also imagined be me being a yogini and wearing wooden slippers.

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I imagined myself wearing this pair of slippers.

So, if you all, my dear bloggers are forced to take life slow for a few moments, try to make those moments bearable by being patient.
    And, this hack is 100% RAMEXA Approved! Tried and tested!

If you are stuck in an uncomfortable situation, how do you try to make that situation a bit more comfortable? Do comment!

And as always, if you like what I write, please Like, Comment and Follow! It’s free anyway!
     

Atlas

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We all carry the world on our shoulders,
Mental or physical, heavy as boulders.
    The weight is completely crushing,
     Knees on the ground, brushing.
           The world rests like a crown,
            Our faces marred into a frown.
We just want to get rid of it all,
So that life can again be a ball.
           We just want to be ever-happy,
           Not sad and overly-sappy.
The weight we carry isn’t the same,
We’re on different levels of the game.
           We got to lose sometimes to rise,
           Let go of those suppressed cries.
We’ve gotta keep moving on,
And take control of this life before it’s gone.