2015 has been the biggest year of my life. This year has officially been the most overwhelming year of my life, yet. Never forget the ‘yet’. 2015 should be crowned as ‘the year that changes it all’. No, truly. Usually, one changes ever-so-slightly. Usually, the change is so slow that one does not even feel it in its entirety. Change usually feels like gradually adding sugar to subtly sweeten some coffee. Change feels like years of hard-work and dedication that would be showcased just for a few seconds. Kinda like the Olympics.
But this year, change has engulfed me. It has swallowed me whole. Kinda like how snakes swallow their prey.
Let me explain. I’ve either laughed so hard that my head starts hurting, or I’ve cried so hard that my entire body feels drained out. I’ve begun seeing everything in black and white. A thing, anything, is either too good or too bad. Never grey. Never in-between.
And I was never like that before. I believed in balance. I believed in calmness. But now, the scales are either on the ‘Amazing’ side, or the ‘Sucky’ side. Sigh.
And since everyday has some elements of good and bad, I tend to get sad pretty easily, because the bad moments seem to last a lot longer than the good ones.
And since the bad moments seem to last longer, I get sad very often. That’s not a good sign. And its not just sadness. Its a mix of –
Sadness + Loneliness + Over-thinking + Self-doubt + Bunch of shitty people =
Me feeling like I’m not good enough. Like I’m not worthy enough.
So, basically what I’m trying to say is that, for 2016, I have no resolutions except one. I resolve to be Happy. No matter what. I will try my hardest in order to feel like I am worthy. I am awesome. And, only I can label myself.
And I have.
I’m a Youtuber.
I’m a blogger.
I’m a writer.
I’m a reader.
I’m a music-listener.
I’m a anime-watcher.
I’m a Pink-sauce pasta lover.
And, I’m awesomer.
PS. I ran out of words ending with -er.
So, this is my last post for the year 2015. Let’s all just aim to be a little better this year. And a little kinder. And a little gentler. And a little happier.
Thanks for the love and support everyone. You all are amazing.
2016, here I come. With guns blazing.
What is your resolution for the New Year? Do comment. And as always, do subscribe to my YouTube channel as well as follow my blog. Its free anyway!